1. |
Surprise Me
03:04
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I think you’re softer than you want me to believe
But what do you show me?
I’ll believe what you show me
I see you’re softer than I saw initially
But you don't want to show me
And I’m not in the mood to wait for you to open up
and I don’t have time for you
or your breakthrough
you were a porcelain doll and I like shiny things
with some fragility
but not in masculinity
so I built you boxes to overlook some traits
so then you could surprise me
but that’s just fantasizing about you opening up
and I don’t have time for you
or your breakthrough
to start to treat people nice
you’ll never take my advice
you never asked for it
it’s for my benefit
or else I’d see a good good guy, who’s just reserved maybe shy
one that’s for the charts, the one that starts the sparks
but if I don’t hold back you’re gonna break my heart
if i don’t hold back you’re gonna break my heart
I’m afraid I’m softer than I want you to believe
I don’t know what to show you
I don’t know how to show you
I’m afraid that girl isn’t who you want to see
so maybe you don’t deserve me
maybe you shouldn’t get to see the way I open up
And I don’t have time for you
Or your breakthrough
cause if you’re treating me nice
for now that has to suffice
And I’ll deal as friends
less energy to spend
on a mediocre guy, who’s probably shallow and shy
But you pull me in, I begin again
to go back to the start, where you lit all the sparks
and I don’t hold back and you break my heart
And I don’t hold back you break my heart
if i don’t hold back, you’re gonna break my heart
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2. |
Learning
03:22
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There’s a lot of different things that I thought to be true
And that I probably wouldn’t question if I hadn’t met you
And it’s not that I don’t want the truth to unfold
But it’s just hard to push aside the love I knew I could hold
Cause he awakened my soul
But he didn’t let me find my own
And he poured passion until I was almost full
I couldn’t tell if I had grown
So now I’m learning
I was worried after him that I’d have nothing left to give
I’m just going through the motions and that’s how I would live
I was worried about comparing every single thing to him
But then I realized I could love you and that’s part of learning
You awakened my voice
Not afraid, but knew where I stand
You jumped blindly by choice
Didn’t know where you would land
So now we’re learning
For you for you for you
Your hearts the chord that powers everything
I may not say it with my brain
But happy courses through my veins
I loved the storm, but you’re the calm that brings me peace
That recognizes all of the love that I have to be released
You helped me learn that
You awakened my voice
Not afraid, but knew where I stand
You jumped blindly by choice
Didn’t know where you would land
So now we’re learning
For you for you for you
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3. |
Outlines of Dreams
04:14
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Am I younger than I look?
Am I older than I seem to be?
Do I still walk confidently?
Will I make another friend?
Will they want to sit next to me?
Not now, but eventually
Should I talk about the art?
Always mentioning the start of how
I got here anyway?
Or just ignore all the past
to just amuse all the masses and hear
what they have to say?
Do I pretend to not be crazed?
Do I pretend to be amazed?
Do I repress this very thing
That first inspired me to sing?
We all just hear what’s in our head
we can’t but still try to go to bed
my heart is strong, my arms are weak
sometimes I forget how to speak
In this fish tank of a town
I’m swimming up
I breathe in the hot steam
Yet it’s so easy to drown
I’m swimming up
I see the outlines of dreams
Do I have a timid front?
Did I say something too blunt?
Should I reinvent myself?
Will I ever dance again?
What do I do on the weekends?
And what about my mental health?
I feel the ground on both my feet
This feels like home with a heart beat
I feel the fear of unknown
I feel alive but all alone
I feel my mind is fully charged
But all our egos are enlarged
I need to meditate and shout
I need to figure it out
In this fish tank of a town
I’m swimming up
I breathe in the hot steam
Yet it’s so easy to drown
I’m swimming up
I see the outlines of dreams
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4. |
Renewed
03:32
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I wonder if you’re nervous when you touch me
so confidently
I need some hesitation cause the sky’s not always blue
I wonder if you’re comparing me to her
cause you were so sure
although I laugh and my hair curls be careful cause my soul was just
renewed
It's brand new
and I think I’ll try it out on you
I think my heart is making room
And I like your tenderness
and I forgot how good it feels to kiss
and be feeling once again
I wonder what your friends think
Do they like me? Do they think you’re crazy?
Do they see a pattern that you like alternative?
I wonder if they told you about last year, how I might be attached
Although we laugh and have some fun you don’t know anything about
My past
and the last few months have been quite rough
but of course to you I just look like I’m playing tough
I can’t believe I’m in your arms
and I can’t believe I feel this warm
and I’m feeling once again
I wonder how you saw me
how you saw me before
you said you thought
you’d never get much closer than a peak through the door
i wonder how it felt for you to start to spin
we took a risk
we took a risk and went with it and jumped right in
I wonder how you saw me
how you saw me before
you said you thought
you’d never get much closer than a peak through the door
I wonder how it felt for you to start to spin
we took a risk
we took a risk and went with it and jumped right in
I wonder what happens
what happens next
But I'm feeling renewed and I don’t care about the rest
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5. |
Freckles
02:58
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Will you love me when my freckles go away?
It’s not that I’m having doubts
But when the winter comes and skies all fade to gray
There’s nothing to bring them out
Do you have another reason
To stay another season?
Or are you scared of the dark?
When we’re chilled and running out of thrills
Will you love me still?
If you stick around and think you wanna stay, until that day
I think you will
Will you love me when I am really pale?
So much so you can see my veins
When the sun is sleeping and the air is stale
And all life seems to drain
Are you prepared to light the fire
When we’re feeling uninspired?
Or would you rather go to bed?
When I’m cold and we’re growing old
Will you love me still?
If you stick around and think you wanna stay, until that day
I think you will
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Sylvia Blair New York, New York
multidisciplinary artist in nyc
still figuring all this out
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